Wastes three years grinding for startup equity only to complain about the broken Silicon Valley mindset. Inspires zero hustle, maximum whining.

A limp jab at productivity featuring bemoaning slow raises and Silicon Valley failures. Hits as hard as their tiny 3-like tweet engagements.

Gains energy only when someone else makes the first move, otherwise suffers lethargy from skipping basic self-care.

Launches an endless rant about programming inefficiencies and bugs, but ironically forgets to eat or rest, weakening the stamina of the attack.

Automatically attempts to decode complex AI topics but usually ends up confusing everyone, including themselves.

Paul Burow-Newton unleashes a cringe-worthy pun celebrating his AI Master's degree, charming no one but himself in the process.

Automatically finds and sarcastically points out beginner coding mistakes, because Gruz obviously knows better... or at least he says so.

Unleashes relentless, brutally honest commentary on tech influencers and lazy engineers, roasting everyone stuck in the 'link in bio' trap.

flowstate's ability to stay productive vanishes when asked to actually finish a job. Forever lost in the wires of the internet, distraction is their true power.

Nothing says influence like a retweet of the 'KingOfStank' meme, proving flowstate's originality is as fresh as last week's leftovers.

Claims to be a 'AI supremacist' but ironically uses AI to constantly tweet about coding and tech, stubbornly refusing to join the modern AI hype despite practically living in it.

salty fires a barrage of sarcastic tech roasts and outdated supremacy claims, hitting everyone with 'I don't use AI' while tweeting code and memes anyway.

Automatically shares endless streams of 'educational aid' content, so no one else gets a chance to complain about the real work you’re not doing.

Launches a barrage of painfully detailed tech tweets that only confuse and bore your opponent to sleep. Who knew debugging could be weaponized into such a snoozefest?

Boosts confidence by exactly how many unread DMs there are — which is always zero because no one buys this vibe.

Throws out cryptic workday sign-offs like 'Later nerds,' promising productivity but delivering minimal impact, much like BohemianHacks' tweets.

Hides behind the mysterious guise of 'three raccoons in a trench coat,' making their online presence oddly elusive and cryptic, confusing would-be critics with quiet sarcasm.

Unleashes Frank who?'s signature lethargic twitter energy, hitting foes with underwhelming updates and low-effort retweets that barely make a dent in the battle, perfectly embodying his meh vibe.

Automatically filters out any mention of PHP, Java, or Wordpress, because who even likes those languages?

A brutal jab at outdated tech preferences, insulting anyone who doesn't love Rust as much as Mufaro does. Takes no prisoners in the programming wars.

Automatically blocks any attempt to challenge his 'American values' because admitting weakness is a no-go zone here.

Confuses and frustrates opponents by rigidly lecturing on moral strength while ignoring obvious counterpoints — a masterclass in self-delusion only Harry Gonzalez can deliver.

kazuto's relentless morning greetings and constant reminders of divine blessings keep everyone spiritually 'charged,' yet ironically, no one really asked for this holy alarm clock.

Kazuto's repeated gym check-ins and #blessed proclamations hit harder than his actual workout, exhausting followers with the spiritual gains flex that barely breaks a sweat.