Copium

Restore 10 HP. Gain no EP next turn.

You didn’t lose. You’re just misunderstood.

Twitter Virus

Mark a card as infected. Each time it replies or engages, there’s a 1 in 3 chance the engaging card becomes infected too. Infected cards have their attacks negated.

It started with a single reply. Now the timeline is unusable.

Grok Is This True?

Reveal your opponent's hand. If any card was played this turn, cancel its effect.

Nothing escapes the watchful eye of the Grok. Especially not misinformation.

White Pilled

User is permanently banned for 'inauthentic behavior.' There is no option to appeal. Remove the user’s card from play.

Algo won't share your content? You can't share it either.

Creator Depression

Target card's attack power is reduced by 50% this turn, 25% next turn, and 10% the turn after. Then the effect ends. Triggered by sudden demonetization with no reason given and no reply from appeal.

No strikes. No warnings. Just vibes and silence.

Mass Reported

Target card loses 50% of its attack power for three turns due to being reported en masse by a cancel campaign.

It doesn’t matter if it was deserved — the algorithm has already decided.

Rate Limited

Target one User Account card. That card cannot attack or use abilities during its next turn due to excessive posting.

Maybe touch some grass… or just wait 15 minutes.

Fake Job Post

Boost comment count dramatically as users ironically engage with a fake hiring post. No real benefits. No one's getting hired.

Post a totally real, definitely serious job listing for a 'Chief Shitposting Officer.'

I'm actually a girl

Claim to be a girl online and gain +5 attack.

The bait’s a little stale, but hey, you get +5 attack.

This Means so Much to Us Small Accounts

Playable by nanobies and lowbies. Attack +10, but only against other lowbies.

“This means so much to us small accounts.”

Aura Maxxing

Improve your banner and profile description. Gain more action points next turn.

Get Aura, Get Bitches

Lowbies create, Highbies reap

Activate when a Lowbie card is attacked. Your Highbie card takes no damage until the end of this turn.

A Lowbie’s job is to defend the people who matter.