Mass Reported

Target card loses 50% of its attack power for three turns due to being reported en masse by a cancel campaign.

It doesn’t matter if it was deserved — the algorithm has already decided.

Rate Limited

Target one User Account card. That card cannot attack or use abilities during its next turn due to excessive posting.

Maybe touch some grass… or just wait 15 minutes.

Fake Job Post

Boost comment count dramatically as users ironically engage with a fake hiring post. No real benefits. No one's getting hired.

Post a totally real, definitely serious job listing for a 'Chief Shitposting Officer.'

I'm actually a girl

Claim to be a girl online and gain +5 attack.

The bait’s a little stale, but hey, you get +5 attack.

This Means so Much to Us Small Accounts

Playable by nanobies and lowbies. Attack +10, but only against other lowbies.

“This means so much to us small accounts.”

Aura Maxxing

Improve your banner and profile description. Gain more action points next turn.

Get Aura, Get Bitches

Lowbies create, Highbies reap

Activate when a Lowbie card is attacked. Your Highbie card takes no damage until the end of this turn.

A Lowbie’s job is to defend the people who matter.

PFP Change

Lose 1 action point next turn. User updates their pfp, and now no one has any idea who they are.

Wait... who is this?

Keyword Hit

Your next attack gains +20 damage. Your tweet hit a trending keyword and got caught in the algo wave.

You weren't even trying.

Deploy to Prod

A change to the system makes everything stop working. Skip the attack phase of this turn.

It worked on staging.

Account Locked

Target card remains on the field but cannot attack for the rest of the game.

No email. No appeal. Just vibes.

Account Recovered

Contacting support actually did something. Restore 1 card from the ban-yard to your hand.

They responded... and it wasn't a bot.